Earth

Mom, I know how the earth was created. God just thought hmmm, I have all these people, what should I do with em? He found a perfect place called Earth and spread the people across the earth.

Really Cool Grandpa

(after realizing that the mug he bought dad says 'Really Cool Grandpa') (mom) 'Honey, he will love it! It doesn't matter that it says Grandpa' Anyways, I'll just tell him that I got it cuz he's old like a Grandpa, so it's okay.

Baby Cats

(after seeing a stray cat who is about to have kittens) Hey Mom, do cats poop out babies or do they barf them out? I just didn't know which way they came out. Anyways, do humans poop em' out too? You pooped out babies, me and my sister, right? Or did they cut us out?

Easter Bunny

(Sister) I'm wearnin about the Easter Bunny! (dodie) Yeah, I'm just tellin her stories from my head ( while holding The Hungry Caterpillar book)

Do you want some cake?

(after Mom asked if he wanted any cake) No, I'm really not a big cake lover. After all the icing is gone, I just don't like the cake parts.

Way More Important than Homework

(while doing homework that he didn't want to do) Anyways, I really have to poop. Mom, whether you like it or not, taking care of my body is way more important than doing homework. I'm serious. If I didn't go to the bathroom, then I would just not feel good. At all.

Rewind My Life

(after eating chocolate and feeling sick after Mom warned him not to eat it) Mom, I just wish I could rewind my life to before I ate that chocolate. Then I would just not eat it, then eat regular food first, then eat the chocolate.

Like 6, 7, maybe 8 days ago

(after talking about how Grandma used to love Elvis) Mom, did you know that Elvis is actually dead? Yeah, my cousin told me he died like 6 days ago, well maybe it was 7, no, no it was actually 8. Yeah, 8 days ago is when Elvis died. Isn't that sad Mom? Anyways, I don't even like this song (Blue Christmas).

Moww

(after talking about how our 15 year old cat has not been looking well) Mom, I think he's lost his mow (said 'mauw'). I was talkin to him and he tried to mauw and nothin came out. Poor Scribbles.

There and There and There - They're Everywhere!

(as mom was putting some anti-wrinkle lotion on her face) Mom, what's that stuff you're puttin on your face? (mom) 'It's just something to try to keep me from getting too wrinkly.' Yeah, you do have a bunch of wrinkles. (pointing) I see em' there and there and there, they're everywhere! Mom you're really wrinkly! (mom) 'Thanks honey.'

How Much Gas is Left?

(after riding his dirt bike for a long time, Dad asked how much gas do you have left? Half a tank, quarter of a tank?) Taking off the gas cap to check how much, he said 'I've got just about enough.' Then he took off again on his dirt bike.

Old and Wise

(after mom's back hurt after laying on the ground looking at stars, watching for meteors) I just wish people's parts didn't get old. You are definitely one of the old ones! But you're old and wise. (mom) 'Why thank you, you think I'm wise?' I do, but anyways, I don't even know what wise means.

Deery

(after seeing two deer run across the road while driving home) This is just a VERY deery place!

Waskelbees

It would be cool if we had a pet waskelbee* without the stinger. I would put him on the littlest leash in the whole entire world and take him around everywhere with me. *waskelbee - wasp & bee said at the same time

Spiders and frogs

All the spiders live under the bridge and when they just get so tired of living, they just fall into the water so the frogs can eat em'.

(after his sister stuck her tongue out with food on it) Look, I know Grammy taught you that, but no. Don't do that.

Mom, your hair...

(while at Wal-Mart grocery shopping) 'Mom, your hair looks like crap.'

Cigga-rettin

(as we were in our car next to someone who was smoking with their window rolled down) Shoo-wee! Mom, it smells like somebody's cigga-rettin! I don't like that at all. I don't like it when people cigga-rett either. It's so stinky why would they even want to do that anyways?

Mommy - Yes Daddy - No

(mom) 'Why did you draw a picture of Mommy that says Yes and Daddy that says No?' Because did Dad tell you what happened last night? (mom)'Yes'(someone got caught telling a fib and got in trouble) Well then you should know why I said No about Daddy. Anyways, I really don't feel like discussin it right now.

Raccoons

(while at the park w/Dad & sister, walking by the river after the grass had been cut) Shoo, it smells like raccoons.

Her Pants

(after an older woman at our family reunion left the room, but with her husband right beside us) Mom, why are her pants pulled up so high? (mom) 'Shh!' What?! I can't help it, they look really funny and they're pulled up so high that it looks weird. I'm not makin fun of her, I'm just sayin, why does she wear em like that?

I'm Proud of You

(after finding out he has been excellent during after school care) (mom) 'I'm proud of you buddy, I know it's hard to listen and be quiet all day' Anyways, I just can't get any nicer than I'm already bein. I just sit there and I'm good and I'm quiet and it's like UGH I just want to get up and run outside and scream! There are SO many rules. It's not easy with all the listenin and rules and everything. I just get so tired of it. Today I am not in a good mood about it. At all.

Like it or Not...

(after discussing ways he can keep from getting too hyper and getting in trouble during after school care) Mom, like it or not, that's just what happens when you're with your best friend. (mom)'Okay, explain to me what happens when you're with your best friend.' Well, you just can't keep from talkin, havin fun and just bein excited. That's just what happens and no one can help it. For real.

Bladder Mouth

(after talking to Mom about not listening and getting too hyper at after school care) Mom, it's my new friend! He just wants me to play with him and then gets me all hypered up. Plus he's a bladder mouth and just never stops talking. None of it's even my fault!

Good Thing We had Her

(After his 3 yr old sister announced that she "farted" @the annual family reunion) It's a good thing we had her, because she just says stuff like that...and it's just funny.

You're Two Minutes Late

(after getting a new watch & waiting for a vision therapy appointment) After the therapist came to get him, Dad saw him point to his watch and tell the therapist, 'You're two minutes late.'

Relaxing Dump

(as mom was in the bathroom washing her hands)  Mom, can you just get out of here please?  I really would like to just be alone and take a nice, relaxing dump.  I just need some privacies. 

Can't Take it!

I just can't take it anymore!  She just wants to listen to that Barbie song over and over!  Next I'm gonna listen to something she hates so that we'll be even. 

Principal of the USA

This guy was driving like 100 miles an hour, then he got arrested and he had to go to the principal of the United States of America!  Can you believe that Mom?

At-Home Scientist

Mom, when I get older I want to be a scientist.  But I don't want to get a job.  I just want to be a scientist at home only.  (mom) 'How are you going to make money to live?'  Well I'm gonna save up like a hundred, no two hundred dollars.  When I run out of that money, I will just sell stuff.

Voice sounds seven

Mom, I really think that somethin happened overnight when I turned seven, cuz you know why?  My voice sounds diffrent.  (mom) 'Say something and I'll see if it sounds different to me.'  I love you mom.  (mom) 'Yep, you definitely sound seven today!'

Yard Sale

(after discussing selling some toys at a yard sale and he'd keep all the money) (mom)  'How much would you sell your little Star Wars guys for?'  Two thousand dollars.  (mom) 'How much would you sell your other toys for?'  I'd just sell em all for one dollar.  (mom)  'One dollar a piece?'  No, just a dollar for all of it. 

Finger Skin

Mom, I do NOT like to feel the pages of this old book.  Its like the pages took a long bath and got wrinkly.  It makes my finger skin feel weird.  I don't like it.  At all. 

Whoever packs my lunch

(after mom packed his lunch most every day all school year)  Mom, whoever packs my lunch just never gives me enough food.  I have been thinking bout that for like 80 days.  I'm just always still hungry every time after I eat.  (even though he always tells mom that he has enough food and it's always good). 

Animal Parts

(after losing 2 pets in one month) Do you think Heavenly Father has animal parts so that when an animal dies that was sick, he can just replace the bad parts and then they will be perfect again but just only in Heaven?

Kids Day

Mom, I'm gonna make May 7th 'Kids Day'.  It's bad because Mom's get a day and Dad's get a day.  Kids don't even get a day and that's not even fair. 

Don't Take it

Mom, if I ever try to give you this. just say no & don't even take it because I've had it in my mouth this whole time. For real.  (his student of the month necklace)

Paintin Nails

Really? I hate when she wants her nails painted (his little sister). Then you (mom) want to paint your nails then you're both just paintin nails and what do i get to do?  Just be bored! I just have to be so bored & then you just worry so much bout messin' em up that you can't even do anything forever! That's just why I hate when she says that! ugh.

11 hours

But I don't want to go to sunday school!  I just need to take a break for like 2 weeks.  It takes like 11 hours every time and I do enough schoolin during the week at school.  Why do I have to sunday school too?  You are so mean!  (after sunday school-mom)  'So did you have fun in sunday school?'  No I did not. 

Heaven - dogs and humans

When a dog gets to heaven, does it have just a floating head only or does it have a head and a body and feet and everything?  When humans get to heaven, are they wearing the same thing they were wearing when they died?  I was just wondrin. 

The wind

mom,  the wind just blows you around wherever it wants you to go, you know it?

Some parts

Mom, some parts of you are skinny and some are...not as skinny.  (mom) Okay, tell me which parts are not so skinny (laughing)  Um, no I don't want to say that.  But you are not as skinny like me, but you do have some skinny stuff on your body. 

Kwinkies

I really miss Kwinkies.  I wish I could have one (mom)  'You miss what?'  You know, Kwinkies.  (twinkies-and mom's not even sure if he's ever had a twinkie...)

Ran so fast

One time I ran in the rain so fast that the rain didn't even touch me.  At all. 

I just had to do it

(@his basketball game)  Mom!  Did you see me run and save the ball from goin' out?  I just had to save it Mom, I skinned my knee, but that's okay because I just had to do it!!

Tennis Shoe

Can I please have a tennis shoe?  (dad)  'What do you mean can you have a tennis shoe?'  I mean I just need a tennis shoe, can you give me a tennis shoe?  (mom-from the other room)  'He's asking for a tissue.'  Yes, that's what I need, a tennis shoe. 

Boyfriend

This girl in my class asked if I would be her boyfriend. (mom) 'What did you say to her?'  I said NO!  Girls are gross!  Plus I hit her really hard with the dodge ball.  (mom) 'That's not very nice!'  No, it was okay because it was in PE and we were posed to throw the ball at each other while we were playin dodge ball.  (mom) 'You know if a boy and girl pick on each other, it's usually because you like that person.'  I DO NOT LIKE HER!!!!!

Headaches

I really do not like headaches...AT ALL.  They make your head hurt.  That's why I don't lik em', cuz they hurt. 

Walgreens

While @Walgreens waiting on Dad to get a Redbox movie - Why do they have video cameras right there?  In case someone is like, walking and then a bad person takes a knife and stabs em a bunch of times or somethin like that?  Then they could see the bad guy and catch em and put em in jail.  Am I right?

Army of babies

(after getting really upset that he couldn't find his DS)  I just wish you had a bunch of babies that grew up and you could command them all to help me find my DS. I just don't know where else to look.

Bukini

(after eating zuchinni for lunch) Mom, I just keep burping up bukini.

Almost missed lunch

(dad) 'How was your day at school today?'  Fine.  We almost missed lunch because my teacher was staring out the window into space and playing with the miniblinds. 

He's a Good Man

If I wear my boots when I ride my dirt bike, I won't get hurt like Daddy did on his when he hurt his foot.  I'm glad he didn't die when he did that.  He's a good man. 

Oil

(while helping dad change the oil on his dirtbike) I can't believe it takes 50 gallons of oil, that's a lot. 

9 weeks ago

My teacher took me out of the RTI reading program because I'm so smart.  (mom) 'Oh, that's great!!  When did she tell you that?'  Like nine weeks ago. 

Water

(mom) 'Honey, don't drink too much water before you play basketball, it could make your stomach hurt.'  Mom!  I have to stay HYDRATED!

Bolleyball

(talking to his 2 year old sister)  Hey, do you want to play bolleyball?  (mom)  'Do you mean volleyball?'  No, I mean bolleyball.  We throw the ball at each other and whoever doesn't catch it, the other person gets a point.  I make up all the rules for it.  Anyways, I always win every time.

My arm hurts

(mom) 'I don't know why my arm hurts so bad.'  (dodie)  I wish I were you and you were me so that your arm wouldn't hurt anymore.  (mom) 'Oh, that's so sweet, thanks honey.'  (dodie) sometimes that happens when you get old.  Things just hurt for no reason, huh?

Anarctica

Mom, I really wish it would rain in Anarctica.  Are there any plants there? 

How babies come out of mommy's bellies

Well, they have to cut em' out of the mom's belly down there. Then they have to do some stuff to the baby. They sew the mom back up. Then they have to put the baby in something like a incubabor. They give the baby a bottle to drink.

Axe

(After having a shower and using Axe body wash)  Ahhh, that's some good Axe.

Yes or No?

Hey Mom, I was getting ready to ask if I can have another cookie, but would you say yes or no?

Throw-dy Throw

When I say the words 'throw-dy-throw' that means, 'I am going to throw it now'. 

Crazy Person

(mom) 'We are getting your hair cut extra short so you can't twirl your hair anymore.'  Good, I like it short like Dad's.  Do I look like a crazy person when I twirl my hair like this?  I just can't stop doin' it.  I try to tell myself to not do it, but then I do it anyway. 

UPS

(Mom) 'I'm not sure how to get there.'  (Dodie)Well, we can just follow them, they have a UPS that will lead us there.