Recipes

Mom, why do you have so many recipes and you're not even listenin to any of em'?

Five year olds

When I was like 5 years old if I cut my finger like this, I would have been cryin' like wah, wah, wah, like a baby.  Five year olds don't even know what their doin'.  Ever since I been 6 years old I don't cry bout stuff like that.

Pillow smells like banilla

Mom, sometimes after you already left for work, I lay my head on your pillow cuz it smells like you.  It smells like banilla.  Is it okay that I do that?

Chew on

Mom, I need to chew on somethinn.  Do we have some food that I can chew on?  I'm hungry.

Must be trainin him for soccer

Hey Mom, did you see my coach dressed up in his army uniform?  He's an army man!  I guess the army must be trainin him for soccer, you think?  I want to be an army man when I grow up.  What kind of stuff do they do anyway?

Dead fish

(overheard conversation with his 2 yr old sister while eating fish)  You know they had to kill that fish just so we could eat it?  They had to make the fishy be dead so they could cook it up and then we could it eat.  Did you knowed that?  Yep, they killed the fish all the way and then took all the bones out.  Now we're eatin it!

Big giant huge door

Mom, I wish I had a little tiny secret passageway door to get into my room through this wall.  Then there could be a big, giant, huge door...for big people like you. 

If I get married

(after talking about how expensive diapers are for his sister)  If I get married and if I get married to a girl and if she has a baby, I will buy all the diapers for the baby.

Air guitar

I just don't know why I can't have an air guitar.  Do I have to wait for Christmas or somethin?

Take her down

Mom-'Why is your sister (2 yrs old) crying, what happened?'  She was tryin to turn off the tv again and I had to take her down!  I couldn't help it cuz she was going to break the tv from turnin it off and on all the time!!!

Holded my breath

Mom, did you know that I holded my breath for 16 minutes?  Mom-'Wow, when did you do that?'  At school the other day. I didn't even pass out or nothin. 

Baby Liminator

I'm gonna vent something cool.  It's called a baby-liminator and somethin else called a human-inator.  The baby liminator will make big people act like babies and even poop in their pants and everything.  Then the human-inator will turn them back into big people.  It will even work on animals.

When I was in your belly

I'm just tryin to figure out somethin.  How did you know that I was in your belly a long time ago?  Did you just have to go to the doctor and ask em' why is my belly gettin so big?

One-dy Nine

Mom, that says 1-1-9, that's one-dy nine, right?

Bad words in my head

Sometimes, when I get frustwated, I say bad words in my head so that no one can hear me say em'.  (Mom starts to worry) 'What kind of bad words do you say in your head?'  Well, don't tell Dad okay?  Like sometimes I say hate and I know thats not nice and sometimes I say stupid, like 'that was so stupid!'  No one even hears me say it in my head!