They might fall in love with me

(after using Daddy's Axe body wash & seeing the back of it has a girl chasing after a boy) I hope that none of the girls on my soccer team get close enough to smell me.  Mom-'Why?'  Cuz they might fall in love with me! 

This town we live in

I'm gonna get a crew of people & learn em' how to be good guys. Mom-'Where are you going to get your crew?' From this town we live in. Mom'What kind of things is your crew going to do?' They will help people. 'Help them do what?' Just help em with whatever they need help with.

A hundred motorcycles and dirt bikes

(after finding out that Mommy ran into a fence with daddy's dirt bike a long time ago) Mom, I'm gonna get you a hundred motorcycles and dirt bikes for your birthday. That way when you crash em' every single day, you will still have another one

Not good news

I always have not good news about that one boy in my class.  He is always doing bad things.  Today he was leaning across the desk and he had to move tables.  I don't have any other news about anyone else in my class.  He's the only bad one.

Want to hear the good news about him?  It's actually still bad news.  He was on yellow and then he clipped off the chart without the teacher telling him to do that.  That's not good at all.  Then he got on red.

Sticker bushes

If you accidentally touch one of those sticker bush things, it will hurt your hand and you have to eat one-handed the rest of your life.  Someone would even have to bring you food outside and feed it to you and everything. For real.

Waste of time

School just wastes all of the time that we could be doin fun stuff.  School wastes all of my fun time. 

Paint this town red

(on the morning of going somewhere super exciting) Hey Dad, let's go get some paintbrushes and paint this town red!

girls are SO weird

I have made lots of new friends in my class, and all of them are not girls.  Mom-'So your new friends are mostly boys?'  Yes!  The girls in my class are SO weird!  They just talk allll the time and never stop.  They always ask me so many questions all the time.  The boys don't do that.  The girls are just crazy!

Soccer

Dad-'We need to try on your old cleats to see if they still fit, it not, we'll buy you some new ones.'  (before trying them on) I really love the old ones but I would really, really love new ones.  I had the old ones for a hundred thousand years since I was like 4 or 5 years old.  I really want to have new ones.  Dad-'Do you have money to pay for them then?'  No. You're the one that signed me up for soccer, so you have to pay for them. 

You don't know what it's like

After talking to his Dad about why he is having a hard time getting excited about going to the first grade.  Dad, you just don't understand what it's like to be a little kid.  Dad-I understand, I was a kid once.  But you grewed up too fast, so you don't even remember. 

How am I even walkin?

Dad, did you know I'm just made out of blood and bones and skin?  HOW am I even walkin? 

My brain

Way after bedtime (10:00pm)
I'm hungry and my brain is just telling me that I want mashed potatoes and peas but it's probably way too late for you to make that, right?  'Yes, way too late for that.'

They would just run away

After discussing how adults have to buy things that are not that fun:  When I'm a dad, if I made my kids buy stuff like dishwashers and stuff like that, they would just run away.  Don't you think? 

Don't you know?

After asking why he gets so nervous or anxious about school - Mom, I'm just a little kid, don't you know that?  I don't like bein places for long times that are boring.  I get distracted easily.  Today I almost felled asleep in class.  Actually I did fall asleep for a second. 

Ears

After complaining about his ears hurting after he got home from school, Mom kept checking his ears (several times).  Ugh, stop it Mom!!!  WHY are you so worried about my ears????  Mom - 'Because I want to make sure you don't have an ear infection.'  My ears are fine, you need to stop worryin bout em' so much.   

Box of Death

While playing with his 2 year old sister - Come on, let's get into the box of scary-ness.  (mom)-'Don't scare her or she won't want to play with you.'  Actually, it's called 'The Box of Death'.  'Oh, well that's much better than the box of scary-ness.  I'm sure that won't scare her at all'  Not long after that, she screamed her way out of the box. : )

Dodie's philosophy on grilling

If it smells good while it's cookin, then it must be good.      Later, after trying boneless pork chops with maple smokehouse seasoning:  It kind of tastes like bones at first, but then it tastes only a little bit good.

Haircuts, the good and the bad

I do like getting haircuts, cept sometimes I don't like it very much.  I do like that thing they do on my head but I don't like when they spray me with water and it gets in my eyes and stuff like that.  But I do like haircuts, cept when I don't like em'.

Party out

Hey, who wants to 'party out' in my room with me?  or sometimes it's  Hey, who wants to 'rock out' in my room with me?  & sometimes it's Hey, who wants to 'party rock' in my room with me?  Awwwww yeahhhhhh!!!

Lightninging

Did you see that?!  It was lightninging allll over Taco Bell. 

Only time you get to slap Mom

Mom, if you pass out, I will slap you really hard on both sides of your face to see if you wake up.  Then if you still don't wake up, I'll call Dad.

Do I look like I'm ready?

'It's about time for you to learn how to tie your shoes, like TODAY.'  Dad, do I look like I'm ready?  'Ready for what?'  To tie my shoes!